Apple

Tribe say to me: We tired of posing for dumb blog pictures. Time for break.

Me say to them: Tribe like apples?

Tribe say to me: Yes, tribe like apples.

[Me hit them over head with rock]

Me say to them: How you like them apples?

Banana

Anyone have good recipe for banana?

Hot Chocolate

When cavemen get cold, me like to make hot chocolate.














Godiva make good hot chocolate that cavemen like. Just because me caveman, doesn't mean me not like good things in life.



















First step to make hot chocolate is remove from package. Me not have time to melt real chocolate, package of brown dust do just fine.











Pour brown dust into cup.

















Now is tricky part. We need help from Giant Hand. Oh great Giant Hand, bring tribe hot water from sky.












Giant Hand always help cavemen. That reminds me, me must throw caveman in volcano to make Giant Hand happy. Me do it after hot chocolate.











Now come hard work. Cavemen must mix hot chocolate until brown dust turn to brown water.














Me doing all the work as usual. Maybe me throw two cavemen in volcano later.














Last step for making hot chocolate is to add marshmallows. Remember not to add boulders because that not taste good.

Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwich

Me show you how to make peanut butter jelly sandwich.














You Needum: bread, peanut butter, jelly, plate.

If you have no plate, you can use flat rock.












Get tribe to put bread on plate.

They no listen to you, hit them with a rock. If you have no rock, you can use plate.












Open jars. Me reminded of joke, How many cavemen it take to open jar? That one crack me up.













Then put peanut butter on bread. Use knife for spreading. Sharp rock can be used if you lose knife when hunting yesterday's dinner.











No let caveman swim in peanut butter. Stinky Caveman. No soap invented for million years.













Then put jelly on bread. Use knife for spreading. Sharp rock can be used if you lose knife when hunting yesterday's dinner. Me already say that.












Sandwich done. Feed tribe for many moons. Make sure you hide sandwich from Thunder Lizard.















Arrrghghhhh, noooo, heeellllppp!















Me hate thunder lizard.

Me welcome you

Me welcome you to me new blog, Cavemen That Cook. Me teach you to cook.